Internet Romance and Cyber Love are Quite Common in Today's Information Age

chillibreeze writer — Sourabh Mukherjee

Love on the Information Highway.

In an age when people spend more time in front of a computer than they do in face-to-face interaction, it is quite common to come across individuals, cutting across all conceivable boundaries of ‘age, sex and location’ going mushy over an e-sweetheart. This is not necessarily because Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan walked up the Information Highway in “You’ve Got Mail” to land up in each others' arms in a sun-bathed park one fine morning, but simply because this sort of interaction is becoming the norm.

What makes it work?

Three primary reasons readily come to mind.

First, people typically edit the negatives out and only reveal the good parts about themselves in an online conversation. During face-to-face conversations, people notice hesitations, discomfort, and annoying behavior (remember the last guy you went on a blind date with the who would spit while talking / pick his nose / wouldn’t take his eyes off your bosom while talking to you?)

Secondly, people tend to open up more than they would face-to-face. For instance, if the guy on the next seat in a train were to start sharing intimate details about his loneliness, you would probably be inclined to change seats. But sharing of personal feelings online is not so unwelcome.

Finally, if you are not very confident about a particular aspect of your physical self that isn't otherwise considered attractive, you can save the details until someone gets to know you first and may find that characteristic less objectionable, because all your other 'virtues' are now known to the other person.

Pros and Cons

The upside of Internet romance is that it's easy to connect with a global pool of people. The downside is that the potential for deception is huge. User forums on the net are flooded these days with hair-raising accounts of psychos and serial killers roaming around in cyber chat rooms in search of that love-struck innocent prey.

A sample survey of ads placed in popular matchmaking sites reveal that men generally fall for physical attributes while women seek financial security and responsibility. Both genders are aware of the interests of the opposite sex and the information they include in ads about themselves reflects that knowledge.
Women are far more likely than men to describe their body type, with terms like 'attractive', 'curvaceous', and 'slim'. None of the women would state that they are overweight, but 'full-figured' is a popular description.

Men write about their 'honesty' and 'financial success'. They call themselves 'successful', 'athletic', 'honest', 'caring', and 'humorous'.

The Indian context

Most of the popular Indian portals these days sport a 'Personals', 'Romance', 'Singles' or 'E-Pals' section playing Cupid and stringing hearts together on the net.

The ads show a great diversity of interests, ranging from a shy college girl looking for just an e-pal on conditions of anonymity to the stud looking for willing 'babes' on for his Saturday night date, to the bored housewife willing to discuss her erotic fantasies online with willing listeners. You can even start your bride/groom hunt with an ad in the 'Long Term' section.

Given the conservative outlook and restriction on sexual liberty that characterizes the Great Indian Middle Class, these websites open avenues for venting suppressed urges and longing, and in turn they are assured heavy traffic.

How do we go about it?

Anyone seeking online love should start by looking for a friend. It's better to stay away from online matchmaking sites, even though it may initially appear more efficient, and going instead to a discussion list, newsgroup, or chat that focuses on an area of interest. Striking up a conversation there gives people something to talk about besides their search for romance, which many of us do not want to reveal right at the beginning.

From there, one can move cautiously through the steps -- starting with exchanging emails and online chats to phone conversations to a short meeting over coffee to more conventional dating and getting to know each other better.
So go for it, guys and dolls! You may have a Sonali Bendre or a Tom Hanks on the other side of the world or you may not. Whichever way things turn out, one thing is for sure, cyber romance is the new “in” thing and it looks like it is going to stay.

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—About our writer:

Sourabh says, "I love taking a shot at anything creative - writing, vocals or anchoring stage shows. Working as a CRM consultant with a reputed MNC, I am a regular at the movie multiplexes, and my other interests include traveling, playing my music loud, and spending time with my family".