A long distance relationship is something that can happen to anyone in today’s career driven world. People are trying new avenues for the betterment of their lives. What happens when couples live apart and try to maintain a relationship? Complain of exasperations? Worry about future? Blame circumstances? Fear if you would lose intimacy?
Let me start this by saying how I kept my relationship beaming, when it was long distance. My husband and I lived about 8400 miles away from each other. He had relocated to the US, to the place where his job took him. And I was in India. We were not married then, but we knew that someday we will be married, that we belong together.
When he decided to relocate, it just had been 3 months since we met. By then we were so much in love and the separation was difficult for both of us. Living far seemed to be a very difficult task. But it was inevitable. We didn`t have any idea about when our next meeting will be. But the happiest part is that we managed, even though I did show signs of intolerance at times. He gracefully managed all the emotional outbreaks I happened to have during our long telephone conversations.
Needless to say, it was during this long distance relationship that we actually bonded more. During this time, we spoke our future. He said he wanted to make his career dreams come true before he could think about any kind of personal ties. To me, it sounded like a long and endless waiting as there were no dates mentioned what so ever. It went on for months before he declared he was coming to India, he wanted to marry me and then I could relocate to the US with him. I was smitten with the joy of re-union, it all happened amazingly well and today we have a great life together.
With this, I am trying to say that the long distance relationship can be a great success if you want it to be. Consider different ways to spice up your relationship.
Have faith in your partner and express your faith whenever you get a chance to do so. Know that your feelings and moods are infectious; you can get your partner to have the same faith in you too.
Be well aware of the situations which increased the physical distance between the two of you. Know that you have good reasons for the physical separation. Set your priorities straight in your own mind and find out about your partner’s priorities too. Respect each other’s decisions.
Be more sensitive to each other’s feelings. You are far away, this usually make you both more sensitive to each other than people who stay together.
Spend more time talking to each other. Use any suitable medium of conversation for you. Be it internet chats or mails or conventional telephone conversations, make them very frequent.
Don’t wait for the other one to call, if you want to speak, you pick up the phone and dial. I remember calling him every evening after my work or sometimes even in the middle of the day between work. He did the same too.
Make sure you both share memories of the good times you spent together. Talk about the restaurants where you both dined together. You may pick a day both remember and had enjoyed together and speak about it. Remember the law of attraction and the saying, "Speak of good things and good things happen".
Be positive A positive attitude is the key.
Make use of the technology revolution. As you know, the world is really small these days. You name anything; you have many ways to achieve it. You may do activities together. Make use of internet and other methods available. We used a VoIP connection to speak to each other. This saved us huge amounts of money. We could speak for hours together. Options are endless; you just need a little interest and research. Again, remember, "Mere thoughts may not always help, act when you have to and stop complaining." Your relationship is in your hands. You are the King of your life.
Call your mutual friends and conference the conversation. You will know this can be great fun when you do it. You will feel the distance melt between people. And this will make you and your partner feel as if both of you are together at the moment.
Let each other know you are available to each other at all points of time. This will give your brain a strong sense of security, which is very important in a relationship.
These are simple things that can be done and yet can have a great impact on your lives. Let your happiness reverberate.
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Shajila writes for chillibreeze.
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