Musings of a Returning NRI - Choosing to Move Back to India

chillibreeze writer — Padmaja Narsipur

My sister-in-law called today and said that she and her husband are considering a move back to India from the US. “What do you think?” she asked me, “Since Deepak and you have done it recently.” Of late, this is a question I’ve been asked fairly frequently.

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My usual reply is that everyone’s experience is different and that there are definite pros and cons to moving back. I told Deepak’s sister something similar, and added specific comments about what she could expect if and when she moved back.

I belong to that growing tribe of “RNRIs” or returned NRIs – people who moved out of India in search of education, money, jobs or freedom and are now moving back to India, recognizing India’s recent status as a happening country. Our (my husband and I, along with our kids) move back has been a much-discussed one; discussed in fact, since the day I met him. We talked several times of the option that someday we may move back to the country of our birth.

Both Deepak and I moved to the US in our early 20’s, he moved here earlier than me. Like many other young Indians of our generation, we went to graduate school (in New Mexico), worked in the technology industry (in the San Francisco Bay Area), purchased that dream BMW and the ranch-style house in a suburb, had our kids there,and got our US citizenship – we basically lived the Indian-American version of the American dream.

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But that question pushed to the back burner popped up frequently – whenever we met our parents and noticed that they were getting older, whenever I woke up at 6 am on Ganesha Chathurthi day and hit the freeway for my daily commute or when my oldest son showed a distinct preference for pasta over rice and rasam.

It really came to the fore when our twins were born. We sorely missed the family support that most parents of young children take for granted in India. We pondered over ways by which we could juggle a Bay Area mortgage with 2 full time jobs, 3 kids under the age of 3 and 60 plus miles of daily commute for each of us. Besides, Deepak’s father offered him the unique opportunity of being his own boss by joining his venture in manufacturing. It was a tempting offer,and soon after, it was “Adios, San Francisco” and “Namaste, Hyderabad”.

This was in mid-2005 and the road since then has had its ups and downs, most of which the reader may be able to deduce easily. But the kids love being with their grandparents, Deepak enjoys what he’s doing, and I have free time for the first time, in what seems like forever. There’s still a long way to go; plenty to achieve. I’m happy I have that US passport secure in my almirah (closet) – I have excellent memories and dear friends in that country and it will remain my second home. But for now, we’re content, and Hyderabad is home.

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—About our writer:
Padmaja says, "In a previous incarnation, I was one half of a Silicon Valley DINK couple logging my hours as a software engineer. Nowadays I'm a stay-at-home mom of 3 young boys (never a boring moment!), a voracious reader (all-time favorite - Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice", currently reading - Ashok Banker's Ramayana series) and sometimes writer. Future plans include lots of travel (when the kids are older)."

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