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Ten Tips to Survive Indian Culture
This article is part of the "India survival Kit", a collection of articles written by an American expat living in India.
India has been the darling of the global information technology industry for over a decade now, and more recently has become the focus of several other industries including BPO, biotechnology, and healthcare. Despite the extensive globalization and influence of western culture, Indian society – with its religious and philosophical undercurrent – is still very different and the culture requires careful handling that combines respect and tact. But this should not deter the westerner from doing business with Indians or even moving to India, for India and its people have much to offer – at the very least, an incredible experience of her exploding variety and diversity.
The following article lists some tips for those visiting India for the first time or foreigners preparing to relocate here. These are based on my initial experiences in India while scouting around getting a feel for the country and its people. I was an American planning to move to India with my family, but whether we could really live and do business there was a burning question. I had read and heard much about the land, and this added to my enthusiasm as well as anxiety. So I embarked on a reconnaissance trip to evaluate the practicality of my move. Tip 1: India’s diversity in terms of people, culture, and economy can only be understood first-hand. Always do a preliminary survey.
I wanted to see the real India, not follow the tourist trail. Doing business in India is about rolling in the dirt, so to speak. The very rich, the very poor, and the wide ranging middleclass co-exist in India. As do the Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Buddhists, Sikhs, Jains, Parsis, and even Jews. India’s diversity is multi-dimensional – in economy, religion, language, traditions, food, even race and skin color. You can find a native who looks practically Caucasian, another who could be mistaken for an African-American, as also one who looks like he belongs to the Far East.
As my flight landed in the south Indian metropolis of Chennai, I was confident that I was ready to absorb India. A blast of warm air and scorching bright sunlight hit me as I stepped out of the cool air-conditioned airport. Nothing could have prepared me for the unending sea of human faces. There were people everywhere. Taxi (Indian usage for cab) drivers crowded around me, speaking broken English, competing to attract my interest. But I had heard several tales of tourists being charged ‘special’ hiked-up prices by taxi drivers. So I looked for a policeman for help in hiring a taxi. At the end of the ride, despite having agreed upon the fare beforehand, I was wrangled for more. Travel by taxi or auto-rickshaw (a three-wheeled public transport vehicle commonly called ‘auto’) almost always will be followed by a haggling argument between the passenger and the driver. But Do NOT use taxi drivers and other tourist peddlers as a yardstick to judge Indian people (Tip 2). In general, Indians are an amiable lot. Yes, their mannerisms are different – they shake their head when they mean ‘yes’ – and their English is sometimes strange, but they are hospitable, patient, talented, and hard-working.
Hotel hunting
Finding a hotel in India is not easy. They range from five-star hotels charging international rates ($150-$250/night) to dingy ‘lodges’ with Indian prices (about $10/night). It is advisable for business travelers to stay in upper-end hotels to avoid falling sick with contaminated food or water. Four or even three-star hotels usually are priced much lower than five-star ones, with services almost as good. The Lonely Planet guide to India has good information on hotels, as do several online websites like TripAdvisor.com. An option could be to stay a few nights at a pre-booked hotel, while searching for another that better fits your budget and needs. A reasonable mid-priced hotel in a major city would cost about $45-$55 a night for a room with TV, AC, telephone and an attached bathroom with hot water.
My first stay was in a Chennai hotel that was hygienic by Indian standards – running water was a luxury in a city known for its dire water shortages, and toilet paper was considered wastage. But this was the India I wanted to see – the one where Indians lived. But I did realize that clear communication is of paramount importance (Tip 3). I had to be specific about what I wanted, and it helped to ask the person to repeat what I had requested to ensure that my need had been understood clearly.
Indians are inquisitive but extremely hospitable
Indians are very curious. Even strangers want to know everything – what you do, what your parents do, what your children do, what you ate for dinner, even how much your house cost! I traveled by train from Chennai to Bangalore and the interrogation by a fellow passenger made me wonder if I was facing criminal charges. This is one aspect of the Indian that is tough to reconcile with. But the key here is to look beyond the questions, at the true intention. Knowing all about you is, for them, a way of both sizing you up as well as of establishing a relationship. One way I tried to handle this was to talk in general about American customs and practices. But always try to dispel the myth that all Americans are rich and can dole out money freely. Often a foreigner’s value depends on the amount of money he is willing to part with (Tip 4). This is true not just of tourist peddlers but also of business acquaintances, some of whom will pretend to be friendly with the hope of a chance to dip into your pocket.
But in all fairness, not everyone you meet tries to burn your wallet. Many will offer genuine help and I would do injustice to the Indian if I did not enunciate their famed hospitality. They will do everything in their power to make you comfortable, even take personal discomfort on themselves. They consider this an honor and it could offend or disappoint if the hospitality is refused (Tip 5). But on the flip side, there is an almost complete lack of privacy – not just socially but also physically. In Bangalore I stayed with an Indian friend. Despite my insistence to the contrary, he let me use the only bedroom in his apartment while he slept in the living room. But he would barge into the bedroom without notice and it took me some time to get used to it. I’m sure he would have been absolutely comfortable if I had done the same. It was a sign of friendship and trust that we had nothing to hide from each other.
Indian physical intimacy and the gender etiquette
I had grown up in a culture where public physical contact between people of the opposite sex was commonplace, while the same between those of the same sex was quite limited. In India the opposite is true. Women hold hands with each other in public and men wrap their arms over each others’ shoulders. Neither gesture is sexual, but is in fact a sign of friendship and familiarity. A male friend would put his arm around my shoulder, give me a handshake that lasted a second too long or a welcoming pat on the arm. These are all signs of intimacy that penetrate the American personal space. But the sentiment behind the gestures was brotherhood and friendship, and I learned eventually to accept that although it was unsettling at first. Tip 6: It is rude to squirm or resist the friendly touch.
On the other hand, it is considered quite offensive for a man to touch a woman, known or unknown, even if the intention is friendly. In fact married couples too avoid even the slightest physical contact in public. Tip 7: It is prudent for foreign men and women, even couples, to maintain a respectable distance in public. Tip 8: If you are a man, never touch or sit next to an Indian woman. Although many working women, especially those of the younger generations are okay with shaking hands, it is still safe to greet women the Indian way – with your palms folded together.
Dressing for women
Indian culture holds a woman in high esteem. And a woman who is modest in dress as well as in manner commands greater respect and admiration. The primary traditional Indian dress for women is a sari which is a long piece of cloth wrapped expertly around the body. Another easier-to-wear traditional dress is the salwar kameez (also known as a churidhar or kurta-pajama), which is a long top worn over pajamas. Not much of a woman’s body is revealed in either dress although an argument to the contrary can be made in the case of a sari that is not worn appropriately. Nevertheless, a foreign lady in shorts and a top that reveals more than the Indian norm is quite the culture shock, resulting in an unnecessary increase in the number of roadside stares, to everyone’s discomfort. Hence it is wise for a foreigner to either dress modestly, at the least covering her legs completely. If you want to go the extra length, salwar kameezes and saris are easy to purchase and can bowl your Indian friends over. (Speaking of purchases, here is Tip 9: Always bargain while shopping. The more you fancy an item, pretend that you don’t care much for it. This strategy also works with any kind of negotiation – even business deals.) But beware of the sari. It is cumbersome to wear, not easy to wrap and could cause social embarrassment – although unknowingly, as the Indian’s discretion will never let him point out the mistakes you are making. As a result, you may often be completely unaware of your blunders. Always check with a trusted source if you are in uncharted social territory (Tip 10).
I came out of my first Indian experience a changed man. We Americans have a lot of lessons to learn from Indian culture, respect for parents and other elders not the least of them. The above observations of Indian society are only to help a foreigner understand what to look out for in India. India will welcome you with open arms as she does all her guests. It is up to us to prove ourselves worthy of her hospitality.
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