Vyah karva leh! My ears have been drumming with the sound of these three words ever since I crossed the age of 25 a couple of years ago. From gentle persuasion to subtle emotional blackmail to intimidation, my folks have tried everything to make me agree to bring home a bahu for them. But I am as stubborn in not obliging them as President Musharraf is in not giving up his desire to grab Kashmir!
“Your life will be ruined; we’re not going to be around forever; you’d have no one to turn to once you get old; who would take care of you in your old age? Who would tend to you when you are sick?” My parents warn me of the serious consequences that await me if I don’t find myself a girl to spend the rest of my life with. The shining examples of bachelorhood, Atal Bihari Vajpayee and Abul Kalam Azad, do not bail out ordinary mortals like me!
Why do people get married? I have tried to get an answer to this seemingly simple question from many people. But no one has so far come up with a logical answer that could convince me of the practical utility of marriage. There is no doubt that God wants us to procreate, proof being the unconquerable sexual libidos that He gave all of us! Obviously God wants us to keep multiplying. But I wonder how many people are really focused on bringing forth progeny while they make love in their firmly bolted bedrooms! Since in India you don’t have the luxury of being intimate with your girl/boy friend even if you are lucky to have one at all, marriage is the only license to sexual intimacy!
A majority of Indians have their first taste of sex after they get married. No wonder there’s such an excitement attached to marriage in India. Look at an Indian on their wedding day. Sitting on the king-size chair on the well-decorated podium, doesn’t his/her well-lit face betray a heart pounding with pure, virgin joy? The sheer prospect of exploring the female body—an object of insatiable curiosity to an Indian male all his bachelor years - is enough to drive him to take the plunge at the first available opportunity. Brimming with sexual energy, most Indian men are eager to get married for this very obvious reason.
‘Marriages Are Made In Heaven’ is an awful cliché. I don’t think there’s any truth in it at all. Arranged marriages are defended on many grounds. In America where arranged marriage is an oxymoron, 50% of Yankees break their ‘Till Death Do Us Part’ vows even before they’ve got the 7-year-itch. With the majority of our couples sticking together till the end of their lives, can we say that the arranged marriages have worked in India? I am very doubtful about the real success rate of arranged marriages. I am sure if there wasn’t such a social stigma attached to divorce in India, half of all Indian marriages would crumble. The 7-year-itch is just as strong in the Indians as it is in the Yankees.
So will my tenacity give way and will I too will end up circling around the fire chanting those holy vows? I am afraid despite my proclaimed declarations to the contrary, you’d sooner than later see me riding through the streets of Ludhiana on a decorated mare with columns of jasmine flowers slinging down my face!
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