Mumbai's Maidens

chillibreeze writer — Chetna

We are featuring the newly released Mini Namaskar eBook in place of our Mumbai Expat Guide.

Read more about the ebook.

Mini Namaskar eBook Written by Expat member of Mumbai Connexions

Mumbai is what I would like to describe as a city of beautiful contradictions. For instance, the city that is home to the world’s 2nd largest film industry, Bollywood, also houses the continent’s largest slum area – Dharavi. Or, let’s take the fact that the country’s “economic capital” is also the one with the poorest infrastructure. Aren’t we all familiar with the flooded roads and cars that transform into floating vessels for 3 months of the year!

Going by this description then, Mumbai by default also becomes the motherland of the female species – the true symbol of “contradiction” in all its glory. Ok, before all you ladies pounce on me for being a traitor think about it. We may be physically weaker than our male counterparts but we’re most definitely stronger on the emotional front. Or for that matter, we love being oh-so-vocal about women’s liberation and yet a man without chivalry is condemned to the black book of rejects in a matter of seconds. So now that you all agree with me and we’ve established our claim on the city, let’s move on to the interesting part.

Like in any jungle, every species has its own sub-species. So also Mumbai’s ladies come in all combinations and permutations. There was a time when there were only 2 sub-species, viz., the townie and the suburbanite. But through years of evolution, we now have 5 sub-species. So take a deep breath, relax your mind and get ready to discover exactly which sub-species you belong to. Umm, just a word of caution before we start, the reflection in this mirror may lead to side effects such as placing a ransom on my head!

The Original Townie: Well this one’s a classic. Still loves her Gucci glares, Versace jeans and LV bag (that’s Louis Vuitton for the uninitiated). For her the term “Fashion Faux Pas” means being caught in the same outfit on two different occasions. She zips around the city in nothing less than a Honda City and it’s important to mention here that anything that lies between Cuffe Parade and Worli is “the city”. Anything beyond that, according to her, requires a visa that doubles up as a detailed road map. Now, there was a time when the Original Townie would strictly pursue a career which was creatively inclined and, of course, one where she was her own boss. But today, with the entry of MNCs she sure is carving out a place for herself in the corporate world (hmm… of course starting her own art gallery is the “in” thing to do and so a good enough reason to quit her job on the second day). The Original Townie is a favorite amongst the boys and the most hated and envied one amongst the ladies. The flip side is that this is one group that attracts the maximum number of impostors, while the upside is that the impostors are no competition as they can barely tell their wines from the grape cocktails.

The Out-of-Townie: These gals are the new converts and by that I mean those who have moved to the city in recent years for professional reasons. They come from all corners of the country – big cities, mini metros and small towns – and in fact there are a whole bunch of foreigners in this group too. For many, it’s their first job that brings them here, for others the move is directly linked to an upward move in their careers. Two apparent reasons for making this part of the city home is a proximity to their work place and the lure of the ‘Page 3’ life made famous by the Original Townie. Most of these girls stay in groups of threes and fours sharing a flat and mind you; perfect strangers become flat mates for many years. For these gals, especially the foreigners and the new kids on the professional block, Fashion Street and Colaba Causeway equals to the Mecca of shopping. Unlike their ‘Original’ counterparts, Mumbai’s public transport system is their daily ride and for them, Mumbai’s life is synonymous with eating at Chowpatty and walking down Marine Drive. Well these gals are definitely more rugged than the Original Townie, but only a few become true Mumbaites, while the rest eventually move on to another city or move back to their home towns.

The Sandra from Bandra 8.0: This new millennium version has traded in the floral dresses with puff sleeves for Levis jeans and Mango racer backs. But her language still has traces of the obsolete version with the frequent use of words such as “men” (“what men?”…“no men”). She is a product of the convents that grace this city starting with the St. Theresa’s and St Joseph’s schools and graduating to the St Andrew’s and St Xavier’s colleges. I must clarify here that this Sandra from Bandra 8.0 is not restricted to the Catholic community and has members from all religious backgrounds. While, she may have her own car, the Bandra local is surely her regular ride and she’s quite adept at making her way around the city. Except for work, her entire life is very happily settled within the confines of Bandra. For her Bandra fair is a tradition not to be missed and her belief that if there is one place that has a solution to any wardrobe emergency it is Linking Road is not to be messed with. Now there used to be a time when Mumbai’s nightlife, shopping scene and eating out places were ruled by the Original Townie as all the ‘happening’ joints lay in her turf. But today, with new lounges and nightclubs springing up, international brands setting up exclusive outlets and a number of restaurants opening up she seems to be in a mood to challenge the Original Townie. You never know, there just might be a cat fight in the making!

The Miss Lokhandwala: Ok, now this one is the ‘wannabe’ star of the city. For some, Mumbai is their native land, for others it’s their dream land. But all of them are bitten by the same Bollywood bug. Their entire day is filled with activities that will prepare them for the life of the ‘rich and famous’ and I’m not talking about acting and dancing classes. I’m talking about practicing the art of air kissing, spending afternoons at coffee shops discussing supposed film/TV serial scripts and pretending to be the next Aishwarya Rai at restaurants. Thanks to Ekta Kapoor many of them do achieve their dreams to some extent. But the flip side is that many walk around thinking they’ve already become Tulsi Virani! The minute she opens her eyes every morning she dons the grease paint. After all she has to be able to live the character she hopefully will someday portray on screen, right? For her being seen at the right places at the right time is absolutely mandatory. So, being invited to (at times translated as gate crashing) all Page 3 parties is a must. Her most prized possession is her vanity box which is loaded with cosmetics from the cheapest to the most expensive brands in the world. Yes, some may claim allegiance to a specific “international” cosmetic brand. But that myth explodes the minute the box is opened. This Miss Lokhandwala is quite a street smart gal who has learnt her way well around this city especially the main studios of tinsel town. She may not be as “original” as the Original Townie, but she knows exactly how to make a fake LV pass as a real one in the circles that count. So the next time you are in Lokhandwala and you spot one these missies sipping coffee, take a good look… you never know you might just be seeing the next big star of Bollywood!

The 8:44 Fast Hot Stepper: This is your “no-nonsense, aamchi Mumbaichi porgi” (for the non-Marathi speaking clan “Mumbai’s no-nonsense local gal”). These chicks are the late entrants and it’s only recently with this whole MNC culture and BPO boom that the limelight has shone on them. Her home turf extends from Jogeshwari to Vasai, but she is the true Mumbaite travelling from one end of the city to the other – Nariman Point – on a daily basis. She has 3 types of friends – locality friends, train friends and work friends – and let me tell you that the one that stands out the most are the train friends. Every morning she boards the same train and makes her way in to town accompanied by them. She celebrates her birthday, anniversary and even her success with these girls and if she were to change her train timings she would be sent off with an elaborate farewell party right there in the ladies compartment! The 8:44 Fast Hot Stepper makes the whole act of balancing one’s career and home completely effortless. In fact, she can cook up a mean biryani just as easily as she cooks up a storm in office. Not one to care much about brands, original or fake, she wants to look good but not at the cost of comfort. So, all those slinky stilettos can be kept aside for the other gals. Now, although this sub-species is still in its natal stages, she seems to be making sure she’s not far behind in claiming her right as Mumbai’s gal.

Phew! That was the last of the sub-species. Ladies, I hope you’ll are not getting ready to hunt me down and am really praying that your funny bone is tickled by my analysis.

Ciao!! Until we meet again.

Chillibreeze's disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not reflect the views of Chillibreeze as a company. Chillibreeze has a strict anti-plagiarism policy. Please contact us to report any copyright issues related to this article.

Out of 5 “chilies”, our editorial team gave this article...

—About our writer:

Chetna says, "A freelance writer based in Mumbai, I enjoy writing research based articles, reality features and short stories. Currently, I write a monthly feature for Frappe, Chennai's Lifestyle Magazine called The Coffee Diary. Conceptualized and developed by me this feature attempts to bring forth the urban youth's viewpoint on various topics. I also, write for Caterer India, a magazine focusing on the F&B industry."

Mumbai's Maidens

>> Read more articles written by Chillibreeze writers: