Busy Executive to Stay at Home Mom

chillibreeze writer — Vidya Prabhakar

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Without doubt, one of the toughest decisions a mother faces soon after having a baby is whether to get back to work or stay at home with the baby.

It never occurred to me 6 years back that I would one day choose to be a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). My spouse and I were the typical double-income-no-kids couple, footloose and fancy free, enjoying life to the fullest. In any case, I thought myself as too independent to stay at home. But 4.5 years and a baby later, I opted-out of a crazy-busy career and chose to be a SAHM.

Making the decision seemed harder than I thought it would be. I however realized that my job was replaceable but being with the baby was not and I’m glad I made the decision to be a SAHM

Of course, the first 3 months after having the baby passes in a blur of sleepless nights and numerous diaper changes, leaving no time to miss your work-place. After this point, staying at home needs some getting used to. Allow me to explain - The sight of your husband leaving for work, sharply dressed, while you find yourself in crumpled spit-up stained clothes rings the first bell that things have changed! Further more, your personal grooming needs are considered met if you are lucky to have a quick shower in the day. Gone are the days, when you grabbed your designer handbag, sunglasses and car keys and set out the door. Now you get to go out with a fully stocked up diaper bag, stroller and a wriggly baby in tow. Forget the sunglasses, just squint your eyes and make your way on the road!

Staying at home does not come without some initial resentment. I missed my job, the professional challenges it offered. I missed the intellectual stimulation, the adult conversations and certainly my handsome paycheck. Being a SAHM, on the other hand is a 24/7 job where you cannot punch out at the end of the day. There is no one you can delegate the job to! It is a test in patience and sanity but where are the congratulatory emails or back thumping that is a norm with success at work-place?

While the initial transition phase was bumpy, I’m glad I made the choice to be a SAHM. Here is why. Raising a baby brings out the best in you, the sides you did not know existed. You improve your multitasking abilities and time management skills (ask a mom who has tried holding a wriggly baby in one hand, talking on the phone and loading the washer at the same time!). You get to take on tasks of raising a child, Home-making, managing finances, shopping for the house, instilling discipline and teaching values. Staying at home also offers you a chance to explore your other interests and expand horizons outside of work. Pick up new hobbies, pursue older ones – it is a journey in self-discovery.

I treated my career shift like I was starting a new job. To illustrate, I designate each day in the week for an activity – Monday for laundry / Tuesday for Ironing / Wednesday for Groceries, so on and so forth. This brings order and a sense of accomplishment of being the best that I can with the choice I have made.

My choice has afforded me more relationship time – with my spouse and my child. We are more content and less stressed out, now than before. I strongly believe that my time invested with the child will be worth its while in future. I hope she will remember her childhood as not being hurried and rushed. The fact that I can be of influence in her values and beliefs and help lay the foundation for her to navigate her way in life seems a compelling reason enough to be a SAHM.

So, I work at home, my child is my boss. A warm hug from a child who feels loved, content and secure is my payoff!

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—About our writer:

Vidya says, "A Chartered Accountant by qualification and an avid reader, my other interests include needlework, baking, traveling, singing, reading up on Hinduism and learning about new cultures."

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