Being single gives one a lot of time and space. Except that along with it comes the baggage of pressure and anxiety. I am one of the very few singles in my circle of friends. Almost everyone I know is in a relationship and is, in fact, going formally public about it this year. 2008 has started off for me with a series of engagements and marriages. My closest friend and confidante is also tying the sacred knot very soon. This situation has put me in an ordeal, as my family and friends expect the same from me. However, my behavioral patterns so to speak, are very different from a lady my age. When everyone my age is busy harmonizing their work life with their love life, I am very satisfied with dedicating every waking moment of mine to work and maybe spending my time off to enrich myself as a person by watching a sensible movie, catching a play or taking up an interesting course.
So when a friend of mine, Pearl, took the initiative to get me to start Marriage Dating, I started dodging her calls. But she persisted. Knowing Pearl as the most adamant woman on the face of this planet, I decided to hear her out. Pearl introduced me to the concept of Marriage Dating. Well, marriage dating, simply put, means dating and trying out options to eventually find the assured right match for yourself. She has vowed to find me the ‘Perfect Man’.
I thought it sounded shallow and reminded me of a bookie trying to ‘fix’ a Derby. I did not want to be a trickster at any cost. But Pearl’s persuasion and affirmative approach to the subject started to influence me towards taking a step further and exploring the new arena. She was at her best convincing stance when she said, “Do you want be one of those girls who has to carry a tray of tea and biscuits to invite your prospective in-laws and then list down your hobbies and pastimes to the guy you are looking to marry?” “With all due respect to the women who have followed the same routine in the past while getting into an arranged marriage, I would willingly jump into a well as an alternative to going through this insane torture of sorts,” was my reply.
Pearl wanted to introduce me to a friend of hers who she thought was ‘The Perfect Man’ for me. Now let me tell you that my idea of a perfect man is so far-fetched that maybe the dude will have to be custom-made to my specifications. Nevertheless, since our religious and social backgrounds clicked to the tee, I decided to give this guy a shot.
I wouldn’t want to bore you with the details, so to cut a long story short; this gentleman actually exceeded my expectations in the very beginning. Except as the days passed, and the colorful past of the young man came into focus, I realized that he was looking out for a Plain Jane or a Sita Mata to marry, whereas he himself was a Krishna Kanhaiya who had had his share of fun with innumerable Gopis.
At the risk of sounding prudish, I have a mental check list on the man I would want to spend my life with and ‘positive temperament’ is at the very top of that list.
Also, from whatever little experience I have had in this big bad world, I have realized that there is no such thing as a ‘Perfect Man’ and a ‘Perfect Job’. Perfection is in the eyes of the beholder if I may.
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