NRI Children and Life in India - The Challenges and Their Resolution

The subject of returning to India looms large for us NRIs, sometimes even before we leave. Talk of an imminent return somewhat took the edge off the pain of separation for the close-knit family I left behind, and for me, an escape plan helped handle the foray into a strange, unfamiliar world with just a little more confidence.

So do I believe I can ease back into India with reasonable grace after some ranting over the dust, traffic and power cuts? Absolutely! But how would my children, born and raised abroad, on a diet of International schools, expatriate friends and plush surroundings cope with the challenges of their new environment?

I believe that children young enough to have few pre-conceived notions often find change exciting rather than threatening. The love and attention showered upon them by doting family members and the stimulation from just interacting with so many people makes up, at least temporarily, for little creature comforts they may have had to sacrifice.

Older children and teens, on the other hand, would likely find the going a little rougher. The stakes are higher, as they would have to leave behind their established peer groups and seek acceptance and build relationships from nothing. Parents could perhaps help ease them through this process by getting in touch with children of NRIs who have moved earlier, and getting survival tips from them.

Logistical issues like commuting may be dealt with reasonably painlessly, as hiring a driver to help teens get around – an unthinkable luxury in most other countries – is quite easy in India. This makes up, to an extent, for the inadequate public transport services in most cities. Many schools also have school buses to ferry their students.

Those who opt for the Indian schooling system may encounter a tougher curriculum and the prospect of having to study unfamiliar languages. Happily, most cities in India offer international and other specialized schools that adopt a sensitive approach to the needs of children educated under a different system. Picking the right school will have a tremendous role to play in easing the process of transition.

India does offer far fewer options and facilities for recreation and sport, but opting to live in gated communities or condominiums and club memberships ensure that kids still have access to some, if not all the facilities they are used to.

It would appear that teens aren’t likely to face much of a culture shock among peers in the metros. Teens moving to small towns, however, face the prospect of rejection for their foreignness, and may find it harder to gain acceptance until they get reasonably conversant with the local language.

Then there are the subtler issues – like well meaning but nevertheless irritating interference from members of the family, scrutiny regarding one’s dressing, academic performance and food habits to name a few. Teenagers may resent obligatory social commitments that eat into their personal time, and may soon discover that family members have little understanding of the concept of “personal space”.

Unconditional love, understanding and support from the family go a long way in helping children and teens overcome these minor hurdles, assimilate and build relationships. Needless to say, much of the ease of adjustment has to do with conditioning. If children are in touch with their roots from the beginning, have loving relationships with their family back in India and are taught to be accepting and respectful of all cultures, moving back to their roots should be a happy, rewarding experience.

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