Advice for the Relationship Junkie

chillibreeze writer — Swati Chaudhary

Would you rather be in a destructive relationship than be single? Would you silently suffer in an abusive relationship to ensure acceptance? Are you obsessed with your partner? If you answered yes to these questions, you might very well be a relationship junkie!

A relationship junkie is someone who is always looking for approval and acceptance from their partner. They knowingly and unknowingly involve themselves in someone else’s chaotic life to enhance their own sense of self worth. They make themselves feel ‘adequate’ and ‘complete’ by solving someone else’s problems. Relationship junkies place other people's needs before their own to somehow feel better about themselves.

What is in a relationship that makes you feel hollow and empty within? What is in a relationship that hampers your growth and progress? What is the point of holding on to an abusive relationship just for the heck of being ‘involved’?

If you hang on to a relationship to bolster your self-esteem and please yourself, you are only making a fool of yourself. Stop making futile attempts to convince yourself that you are ‘needed’ and ‘wanted’! It is only an unhealthy obsession to massage your ego, a disastrous ‘escape mechanism’ that will do you no good, and eventually, it will only worsen your sense of self-worth.

Beware! Do not ignore your own needs and drown yourself into someone else’s life to gain acceptance. Do not put your own development on hold by focusing your energies on ‘one’ person. Don’t depend on your partner to such an extent that your social life takes a complete backseat. Don’t ignore your friends.

Don’t avoid social dos and family get-togethers. Don’t obsess so much that you lose track of everything else around you. Striking the right balance between your love life and other aspects of life is paramount.

Don’t compulsively hunt for new relationships to ‘secure’ yourself. Don’t involve yourself in a hollow relationship as a means to escape loneliness and hopelessness.

You don’t have to stay in a destructive relationship because you fear loneliness and abandonment. Commit yourself to knowing the person well enough before you involve yourself emotionally and sexually. Cling to healthy relationships that inspire you and motivate you to become a better partner, a better student, a better professional, a better daughter, a better friend, a better human being. A relationship should be a source of hope and invigoration. A relationship should be inspiring; it should inspire both the partners to invest in themselves and realize their dreams.

A relationship that distracts you and leads you astray is a flawed relationship. A relationship that wrecks your self-esteem and makes you feel inadequate and undesirable is an unhealthy relationship. A relationship that disturbs you, distances you from your loves ones and leads you off-course is a disastrous relationship.

Don’t make your partner the epicenter of your life. Don’t let your life revolve around any ‘one’ particular person. Make more friends, involve yourself into a cause close to your heart, realize your dreams, pursue your passion, and see yourself ‘grow’.

Stop obsessing over the elusive knight in shining armour who will wave his magical wand, ride you to la-la land and solve all your problems! YOU and ONLY YOU are accountable for your joys and sorrows. TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE, RIGHT NOW!

Chillibreeze's disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not reflect the views of Chillibreeze as a company. Chillibreeze has a strict anti-plagiarism policy. Please contact us to report any copyright issues related to this article.

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—About our writer:

Swati says, "I am introverted and introspective. I retreat within to recharge myself from time to time. I love making chocolate bouquets and candles, and I am passionate about writing. My gut instinct tells me my first book is going to be a bestseller. On a different note, I'd like to quote Epicetus- "It takes more than just a good looking body. You've got to have the heart and soul to go with it.”

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