The Battle with Auto Wallahs

chillibreeze writer — Miriam Varghese

For most of us our days start with a maddening rush to get everything done before rushing off to work. I myself have to send my daughter off to school. So that means I have to make breakfast (She doesn’t eat any kind of cereal!) and pack her lunch (I never eat what I cook half asleep) and most of all I have to motivate her to get dressed and leave the house just as the rickshaw walla starts yelling her name.

In the next fifteen minutes I get dressed and rush out of the house and then the battle begins….. The one luxury I allow myself is to take an auto to and from work. Sometimes I am lucky enough to get the regular guy but mostly I have to wait at the corner from my house and flag down one. I usually wait for an auto with an electronic meter…but then I can’t be so choosy when I am running late (That’s pretty much every day!).

But I have a strategy. If I get an auto with an electronic meter I just collapse into it and actually nod off till I reach the office. If I get a purana meter walla auto, I put on my game face and ask them, “Koramangala jaana hai….Viveknagar se…aap aayege kya…?” (One must be very respectful to auto guys)
“Haan madam”
Just as I sit inside the auto the guy turns around with a pleading look and tone and tells me, “ Madam bahut door hai, return nahi milega, 20 rupees zyada dena…”
At this point I just get out and walk off.
I flag down the next one and fire away the same question. This time I add, “Aapka meter teek hai kya bhaisahab…?” (Mind you I am always respectful!!).
It’s very interesting to see the kind of response I get to this question. Some auto guys are taken aback; some have a real sheepish look on their face and reply, “Kya hai Madam, kaisa sawal hai? Main to seeda sada aadmi hoon…sachi…aap aao… aur dekho….mera meter first class hai….”
Thus convinced I get on with my journey. Sometimes it’s not so easy. The auto guy just glares at me outraged with the fact that I have questioned his morality and chugs off in a huff. Some guys actually raise their voices and try to intimidate me using foul language or rude gestures. I usually walk off unfazed, totally ignoring the raving lunatic behind me, clinging on to that Zen place deep inside my mind, refusing to get rattled that early in the morning.

Let’s fast forward to the evening, I am standing in front of my office trying to get a ride back home. Feeling dog tired, irritability at its peak, the auto guy acts smart with me and then I start my tirade so abruptly that it takes the auto guy and everyone who passes by, quite by surprise. This is how it usually goes, “Arre, what do you think eh? I am slogging the whole damn day so that I can shell out extra money to you? What do you think of yourself…..oh so you are going to Sabarimala? Are you going to atone for your sins? What blessing do you think you will get from the lord? Do you think that I am getting paid overtime….for my work here…”

and so the battle continues…

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—About our writer:

Miriam says, "I am 31 years old. Reading and writing are my passions."

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