Surrogacy is more than an emotional journey for a couple planning a child using Assisted Reproductive Techniques (ART). It is fraught with trepidation, expenses, angst, and a fear of the unknown; especially if the gestational surrogate is from a different country or even a different city than the commissioning parents. Here are some simple steps which can make you a skilled surrogacy sleuth and arm you with all you need to make the process of bringing your biological child home an informed and relatively trouble-free one.
Infertility can take its toll on a couple exhausting their emotional, physical, social, and financial resources. Often, the decision to go ahead with a surrogate pregnancy is a last resort for many who wish to have a biological child and have exhausted most other options. But once the choice is made, it is up to you and your spouse/partner to ensure you find out all there is to know about the process, to make relevant enquiries, seek out the best options available and to cross check the legal, ethical, social, financial, and commercial aspects of the procedure.
Do your research
The first step is usually the easiest. Make your own surrogacy research booklet or file and organize it the way that works best for you; either step-wise, ART centre-wise, or procedure-wise. Keeping a record often makes it easier to cross reference the data you have gathered. Being a surrogacy sleuth takes time and patience as you have to follow a line of investigation. There is research to be done, calls and visits to be made, archives to dig up and lots of ground work, so don’t give up easily.
The internet is the best starting ground for your surrogacy sleuthing as it can give you global perspectives on surrogacy and its myriad issues. Checking out websites which facilitate gestational surrogacy either in your country or abroad is easy, but what you really need is to find out the ground realities from couples who have undergone the procedure and have practical pointers for you. So, when you get in touch with a hospital, firm or a fertility centre that offers surrogacy and ART procedures, ensure that you ask them for contact information of couples who have had or are having a baby through them and who are willing to talk about it. If the organization has nothing to hide, they should share that information. If not, that is a red flag you should not ignore.
Check your facts
Most ART centers, either on their websites, in their brochures or through their staff, give you a rather rosy picture. If you want to dig up more, trawl through internet discussion boards and look for topics about the problems/hurdles related to the process and note down how couples have overcome those difficulties or what they have done if they have not been able to. Look for newspaper/internet articles about the facility and check for any legal or medical issues that have cropped up in the procedures they offer. If you are going through a local, national or international agency that is facilitating the process, ask them to give you a proposal that encompasses legal, financial and other guidelines for both parents and the surrogate. Spend time looking through it and bookmark issues which are not clear so you can discuss it with the centre.
Money issues
Commissioning parents know gestational surrogacy is not cheap. But what most don’t know is that it is easy to be misguided about actual costs vis-à-vis hidden costs. Compare costs from one ART centre to another and tabulate them. You will automatically see who offers what and at what cost. Make sure that all payments are above board and on record. Insist on your CA or accountant being in the loop on payments. Ask for a detailed breakup of all costs from each centre and how and when payment is to be made.
Legal issues
Consult with an experienced surrogacy attorney even before you begin the gestational surrogacy process. Forewarned is forearmed and pre-surrogacy legal counseling can open your eyes to issues that could crop up later on like what happens in case of a miscarriage, whose names will appear on the birth certificate and how you can seek legal recourse if disputes arise. Ask your lawyer to show you a sample water-tight surrogacy agreement with a legal contract, ask him or her to explain it to you in detail. If you are in India, there are surrogacy lawyers who are specialized in the process and can guide you through the legal and financial course of action. If you are not an Indian citizen, surrogacy lawyers either in your home country or in the country where the gestational surrogate is, can direct you on issues like how to take your new born surrogate baby abroad with the right legal travel documents, how to get an order from Indian Courts to enable you to take your child back home with you and how to ensure there are no citizenship problems later on, among other things.
Nothing compares to a real-time visit. If you live in a city that offers gestational surrogacy or know someone who can visit the facility, organize a visit to see first-hand the quality of services offered and make your own checklist. Ensure that the program on offer includes all the mandatory medical checks for the gestational mother and check if it offers testing for spouses as well. Speak to the staff and ask lots of questions pertaining to care for the surrogate, diet, legal documentation and pre-surrogacy and post delivery procedures.
Background check
Once you have narrowed down a surrogate, try to do a background check, if that is not possible, ask the ART centre to do one for you. Since the surrogate is the gestational carrier, ensure all medical, legal and consent documents are in order. Speak to the spouse of the surrogate and ensure legal, written consent has been obtained. Strict confidentiality has to be maintained about the donor's identity at all times, so ask the hospital to show you legal documents on the same. Avoid agents as much as possible, but if you are going through an agent, do a background check and also find out from the local police station if there are any cases against the agent.
No one can deceive you if you are well informed, so familiarize yourself with international and national surrogacy laws. If the surrogate mother is from India, ensure that you know the guidelines pertaining to surrogacy in India -- they have been formulated by the Indian Council of Medical Research (ICMR) and the Union health ministry has finalized the ART Regulation Bill 2010, which has been sent to the law ministry for its approval. Check international guidelines for the practice of surrogacy and compare them to ones in India. Once it’s all done and you have your points for consideration and action in place, give yourself a pat on the back and get set for some happy parenting!
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—About our writer:
Vinita A Shetty is a journalist at the level of senior editor. In a career spanning over 12 years, she has written and headed news teams for leading publications including the Times of India, DNA, Vijay Mallya Media, the Asian Age and Bangalore Mirror. Her writing interests range from trend spotting, current affairs, features, travel and health. She also writes for international markets on varied topics related to India/abroad and loves writing stories for children. She is also an Asia Society New York - Asia 21 Fellow, and has researched, locally produced, anchored and scripted TV projects for foreign documentaries filmed in India by BBC, ITV and Channel 4 UK.
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