Empty Nest Syndrome

chillibreeze writer — Kanchan Maslekar

I met Asmita, my former neighbour after almost 10 years. The last time I had met her she had told me how she had left her lucrative job to be with kids and most of the day was spent ferrying the kids from one class to another. Her world revolved around her kids and she was most satisfied.

And when Asmita stated her children were now in the US and her nest was empty and she just did not know how to cope, I could imagine her state of mind.

What is Empty Nest Syndrome

Many are now facing emotional crises like Asmita – the empty nest syndrome-literally meaning that the parents find it difficult to adjust to their ‘nest’ when their children have ‘flown; away. It’s a mixed feeling of sadness, loss, anxiety, emptiness, vacuum and worry, very often leading to depression.

It usually strikes parents, when their children either get married or live away from home for long durations like for further studies or job opportunities.

This is a recent trend in India, as more and more children are leaving their house for studies or job opportunities. Also with more nuclear families and one or two children homes, the houses are no long ‘filled with children’.

All parents go through this phase when their children move away, but for most the feelings are short lived and the parents soon get on with their lives. However if this does not happen, it can result in the Empty Nest Syndrome.

Though both parents are likely to be affected, mothers tend to face this syndrome more, possibly because they spend more hours with the child and in most cases are more involved with the daily activities of the children.

Ways of coping with the syndrome

Prepare yourself

Be prepared for a future when the children are going to move out of the house. Be it due to marriage, work or studies.

As the time approaches, start thinking how you are going to spend your time.

Talking about it
Share your feelings, concerns and worries with your children and friends. This will not only help you lessen your burden but also give your near and dear ones a chance to help you deal with the situation.

Take up a hobby
Revive your old hobby or start a new one. From candle making to teaching drawing to the kids. Each one of us have some or the other talent. Bring forth that aspect of your life by spending time with your hobby.

Get into social work
There are hoards of people who still need you. Get down to the nearest NGO and spend at least a few hours with the organization and you will soon be refreshed.

The assurance that somebody still needs you helps a great deal in coping with the syndrome.

Start a network /Call up old friends
Parents who suffer from this syndrome need to learn to disconnect with their children and connect with others. You are never too old to make new friends or reunite with former ones.

In fact, there are organizations that work for parents of non-resident Indians, senior citizens, join then to make new companions.

Rekindle Romance
Remember the times, how you would crib about the lack of time for you and your spouse. Now that the kids are away make the most of it. Go for dinners or outings and rediscover the love for each other.

This will also help your spouse cope with the syndrome. Knowing that he has you by his side will make a huge difference.

Acknowledge and accept

Acknowledge your grief (even if you feel that no one else seems to understand), and allow yourself to feel upset.

Peace of mind

Find peace in prayer, in meditation or a sport—do whatever feels right for you and keeps you occupied.
Back to school

Take up a new course. It’s also a great place to meet new friends. Learn a foreign language or join a music class. Anything that will interest you and keep you occupied will do.

Get a life

there is so much more to a married couple than just being parents. It’s best if you have a parallel individual life of your own, even when the children are around. If you were too busy then, now is the time.

Chillibreeze's disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not reflect the views of Chillibreeze as a company. Chillibreeze has a strict anti-plagiarism policy. Please contact us to report any copyright issues related to this article.

Out of 5 “chilies”, our editorial team gave this article...

---

—About our writer: Kanchan says, "I am a part time journalist, part time teacher and a full time mother. After spending seven years in active journalism- as a reporter, I switched gears after my son was born. I now freelance and teach Print Media in Mass Communication colleges. I love to write on Health, Lifestyle, Trends, Women Issues, Relationships but my passion is writing parenting articles, as I can combine two most important things close to my heart- Journalism and Children."

 

 

 

>> Read more articles written by Chillibreeze writers:

1. Articles related to Content and Outsourcing
2. NRI and Expat Articles
3. Potpourri
4. Travel Writing
5. Book Reviews and Interviews

More resources for Writers on Chillibreeze.com Chillibreeze offers Indian writers the opportunity to work on customer projects. We are also India’s biggest writer network and a one-stop shop for Indian writers and editors. The writers’ section on Chillibreeze offers freelance writers and editors a variety of tools to advance their careers. Resources for writers include: Assessment of your writing, editing and proofreading skills Writing courses Expert Feedback on your article An opportunity to promote yourself on our website Top websites for Indian writers Tips and resources for Indian freelancers Book Publishing services And more……………….. Explore our writers’ section using the links on our left-hand side menu.