Learning to Swim

chillibreeze writer — Shilpa Pai

I can just about float, with my fingertips touching the poolside. Over the past five days, I’ve made a superhuman – for someone of my abilities – effort, to go from being terrified of two feet of swirling water – to my current floating status. Today, I ask myself – is this how my three-and-a-half-year old daughter views the world?

That's unlikely. Looking back at what I recall of my early years, I distinctly remember a feeling that there was a guiding spirit showing me the way, even while I was aware that I was a newcomer in this rather unfamiliar universe. It is often said that very young children are in touch with the Higher Self – and when you observe the joy, optimism and flexibility with which a toddler or pre-schooler approaches life, the truth behind this traditional piece of wisdom becomes obvious.

But some situations are even less familiar than others. And when my daughter refused to step into her school compound one fine and unexpected day, maybe she was feeling what I do when I step into the pool every day. Two months into her first year, just when I was beginning to pat myself on the back for getting her to settle in so well and quick, I had to deal with fear, tears and dependence. Maybe then, for her, it was like a new session in the water. Despite having spent a very hard-working hour there the previous day, every swimming lesson for me begins with the same self-doubt - where am I? Does the water know me? Will I be able to float today?

Probably, by the end of these three weeks, I will be able to float and kick across the shallow end of the pool passably well and maybe even swim a little. But my key learning from this experience will definitely be greater humility as a parent. Whenever I see a bewildered look in my daughter’s large, moist eyes as I ask her to trace the alphabet or count beyond five, it will take me back to my time in the water – memories of staring into the chlorinated blue – with the coach screaming shrilly above my head – “look at the others, look at the others, they are able to do it”. Does this attitude help the learner? No, it does not. But as an adult, I’m able to fight back – to tell the coach I will do it at my own tempo. But my daughter, I should remember, will not be able to fight back for many years to come.

Maybe then, it is time for a parenting resolution – to never stop learning. The constant challenging of my inner limits, the working on my broken spirit when I find that I’m not good at a particular thing after having been good at many other things, in general; the art and struggle of looking others in the face and hanging on to my self-esteem when I’m at the bottom of the class. What else could make me a better mother?

 

 

 

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Chillibreeze's disclaimer: This is a contributed article and was published on Chillibreeze in June, 2011. The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not reflect the views of Chillibreeze as a company. Chillibreeze has a strict anti-plagiarism policy. Please contact us to report any copyright issues related to this article. The relevance of the facts and figures cited (if any) could change after a period of time.

 

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—About our writer: Shilpa has spent the last nine years dodging stifling, number -crunching desk jobs; to attain reasonable proficiency as a published features writer. She is interested in society, culture, and lifestyle with specific focus on human interest, social trends, food, books, travel, profiles.

 

 

 

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