Autism: A Misunderstood Disability

chillibreeze writer — Roopa Thomas

The first time we met, he was jet-lagged and exhausted. As soon as I opened the door, he rushed to the sofa and curled up. While the rest of us exchanged pleasantries, he lay with his head beneath a cushion, indifferent to all the banter. By the time it was time to leave, his mother gently urged him to say “hi”. “Hi”, he said looking away. “Hi there”, I responded. I made no attempt to touch him, as I’d normally have done with any child. I’d been warned about how he valued his space, so I’d just have to wait till he was ready to let me in.

A few days later, when he came to stay, I was apprehensive. I had a two-year-old who was prone to incessant chatter and numerous displays of affection. I wondered how our house guest would take to this much younger, more demonstrative cousin. I hoped they would get along, as long as I made sure my child wasn’t in his space.

Though I knew about autism from movies and books, I was largely oblivious to the disability. I had distant memories of Dustin Hoffman’s brilliant portrayal in the “Rain Man”. I’d heard tales about a family friend who they said was deficient in human emotions because of his autism. With these preconceived notions, I began my research, so I’d understand my guest better.

A neurological disorder, the first signs of autism typically appear before the age of three. Children diagnosed with autism are characterized by impaired communication, social interaction, and repetitive behavior. So when my guest arrived, I wasn’t surprised by his lack of eye-contact, or his apparent lack of interest in any of us. He flashed a winning smile and rushed in, exploring and poking anything that came his way. With his little fingers, he poked the rocking horse, a water can, the cushions, and the wall. His interest in objects lasted a few seconds, before he shifted to something else. He didn’t play with toys like most kids, and seemed content just running around, poking objects.

As I had read, his speech wasn’t developed enough, though he seemed to understand a lot of the instructions that were given. At regular intervals, he made a high pitched sound, only to stop and take refuge in the poking again. In addition to this very repetitive behavior, he (like many autistic kids) displayed behavior that was restricted. His interests were limited. Despite offering him several videos to pick from, he was most comfortable with the Wiggles, an Australian band, whom he watched several times each day. Perhaps the familiarity of the video, provided comfort in an environment that was different. Even his interest in food was limited. Luckily his mother had come armed with his stash of comfort food: some organic jelly beans and gluten free cereal and rice cakes.

I watched him as he sat poking one of the cushions, pushing anyone who came too close. I wondered if he was really devoid of emotions, or just unable to express them. I watched him curl up between a tucked-in sheet and a mattress, jump around on the bed, and chuckle happily at “The Big Red Car” (Wiggles). On the outside, he seemed like a normal child who was just having fun. However, unlike our child, he wasn’t too keen on the hugs and kisses.

He valued his space and we respected that. If close proximity made him nervous, so did vast open spaces. He walked in the open, with one hand brushing against walls and railings. On a swing set, he sat with one leg or both hands touching the ground. After a few hours in my house, he took me by surprise, when he held my hand and led me to the kitchen. He was curious about the on goings of our very active kitchen. His mother was leaving him with us for the day, and I wondered if he’d miss her. Meanwhile, we fed him some broccoli that she said he loved, and some rice with a teaspoon of pulses and vegetables. When she was leaving, he seemed indifferent. She didn’t think he even cared if she was around. He sat watching his video, while he was fed his lunch. After lunch, he was rocked to sleep with some rhythmic rocking.

Now we began to understand this child a little better. He was uncomfortable with physical displays of affection and unable to express himself. He didn’t associate smiles with feelings of happiness, and was uncomfortable with changes in routine. He had trouble making sense of the world, and was getting as much help as he could from therapists and family. His family wasn’t sure of whether he’d even live independently, but he was getting a lot of support. They understood his need for a specific order, his inability to emote, and the chaos he had brought into their lives.

It was a disability that couldn’t be reversed, but those with the disability would have to be taught social skills. He was being taught how to greet people, brush his teeth, and follow directions. He was however being homeschooled, because he needed a calmer environment, and he still needed medication from time to time, to calm him down. However, the autism wasn’t all he was about. We were falling in love with his smile. At times he’d envelop us in a hug, so he could smell our hair, or laugh like a baby when tickled. He’d hold our hands or climb on to our laps, while we watched the Wiggles together. I couldn’t believe this little human being was devoid of emotions and love. He just didn’t express them as we did.

While his mother was away, we attempted to give him the order he was comfortable with. We played his videos, fed him his cereal, and made sure he didn’t hurt himself. We spoke to him, even though he didn’t respond, and helped him change his diaper and his clothes. When his mother returned, he smiled happily, giving her an obvious sign of pleasure and recognition, before climbing onto her lap. And just when they were leaving for the airport, he surprised me with a smile, a hug, and eye contact, for a second giving me a glimpse of the person within.

Editor's note: Most articles submitted to Chillibreeze go through a selection process. Only 30 percent of submitted articles are accepted for publication on the Chillibreeze.com featured article list. All accepted articles are edited and proofread for glaring errors of punctuation and grammar. Sentence structure is changed in certain cases and sometimes, entire sections are rewritten. If you notice any errors that have slipped through the cracks, do let us know! (Email us at info at chillibreeze dot com).

Chillibreeze's disclaimer: This is a contributed article and was published on Chillibreeze in October, 2010. The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not reflect the views of Chillibreeze as a company. Chillibreeze has a strict anti-plagiarism policy. Please contact us to report any copyright issues related to this article. The relevance of the facts and figures cited (if any) could change after a period of time.

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—About our writer:

After her masters in Mass Communication, Roopa Sarah Thomas began her career as a journalist. After a brief stint with a media-centric daily, she then shifted gears to Instructional Design. She has worked for a vast range of clients such as Adobe, Microsoft, Cisco, GE Energy Services, Merck, SonicWALL, EDS, Rent-a-Center, and EDS. With over 4 years of experience, she is also an ardent blogger, film critic, and bibliophile. She is currently based out of Bangalore, where she entertains her biggest client; her two-year-old, and treats her husband to some of her latest culinary exploits.

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