Indian Talent, Global Content
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Indian Talent, Global Content |
January 2009: What's in the breeze |
Racism among Contemporary Indians: My Experiences
I would have thought that xenophobia is rare among educated, contemporary Indians. I would have thought it would be normal to treat people like people, regardless of the religion they were born into or the language they speak. I had expected to find traces of xenophobia among older relatives who had spent all their lives in small towns, but not among more educated, worldly-wise friends. It took my marriage to someone from a different state to make me see how wrong I was. I grew up in Assam, and my husband in Gujarat; so, our marriage was in a way a meeting of the east and the west. This was not a barrier for either of us, for we had so much in common that slight cultural differences seemed insignificant. Of course, we did not expect our extended families to see it the same way. However, we were welcomed with open arms on either side; there was not a whisper of disparagement. My first brush with harsh reality occurred when an acquaintance made remarks on Gujaratis being bania (traders), teetotalers (who were, for some reason, looked down upon), and skinflints. These were accusations that I shouldn’t have bothered to defend: but wouldn’t keeping mum have perpetuated the stereotype? Note: this person had never met my husband! Then, there was this young lawyer who wondered how I could bear to have North Indian in-laws (passing over her appalling knowledge of Geography: even after I pointed out her error, she persisted in saying that Gujaratis were North Indians). My assertion that my in-laws were perfectly nice was taken as a polite lie. She also stated that she couldn’t marry anyone outside of the North-East as she didn’t think such a person would understand her: even though she has been living, studying, and working mostly in Bangalore for years! I have no problem with her foolishness as long as she confines it to her own life. But I am offended when she thinks she can use her racist ideas to insult my family and yet claim that she is being rational and impersonal. And then I see a friend’s brother – usually a well-behaved gentleman – abuse a hotel employee in Assamese to his face, confident that he would not be understood. I am slightly ashamed that these are people I know, and that my husband has never faced anything similar on account of being married to me. But then, I have chosen to distance myself from such people. I remember, when I was at B-school in Delhi, I was shocked when a Hindu friend made fun of a Muslim on account of his religion. I had never encountered anything like that before, even though I had had plenty of Muslim friends in Assam. Yet, in the so-called cosmopolitan Delhi, a guy was baiting someone just because he was a Muslim! Having had these brief encounters with racism, I was saddened, but not shocked when I heard about Madhavi Kapoor from Pune, who is fighting a legal battle against her building society for refusing to let her sell her flat to Muslims. I am glad and proud that she has not given in but has chosen to fight for the rights of those prospective buyers. I also appreciate my husband’s family for accepting me as I am, without expecting me to conform to their ideas of a daughter-in-law, I am thankful for the fact that my mother loves my husband like a son, even though she stumbles when she talks to him in Hindi.
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