My Heart's Calling

chillibreeze writer — Laxmansinh

The world of letters has fascinated me since childhood. At school, the library became my haunt. I was obsessed with Enid Blyton. Her novels - ‘The Mystery of The Missing Necklace,’ ‘The Mystery of The Smoking Mountain’, and many more were etched into my memory. When in college, I read Pappilon, Topaz, The Guns of Navaron, and The Good Earth. In fact, I took a dip into varied subjects. In my final year I was introduced by a friend, to philosophy and spiritualism; J. Krishnamurthy, Osho, Buddha and his Vipassana, Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra and the like. I tried my luck at poetry and essay writing, some of which were published in the college magazines.

To be a writer meant creativity and imagination. “How wonderful it would be, if I too could become a writer and earn a living by it.” I often mused. Blessed are those that earn a living by their hobby. I always dreamt of becoming a writer/editor but it was not to be. A friend took me to a palmist one day. “Son, what do you want to become in life?” he asked. “A writer,” I replied without hesitation. He nodded his head in the negative. “Your Mars – the planet of war, is too powerful,” he remarked. “You’ll earn your living…well…you’ll be either in the police or the army.” How right he was!

After graduating, I appeared for the Combined Defence Services written examination; just for fun. To my surprise I qualified and was called for the interview. “Well,” I thought, “the written was a fluke. Passing the interview - no chance.” To my horror, I cleared the interview and received an appointment letter. Not very keen to join, I was sulking. “You’re lucky. To get a job in this country is not easy son and that too a class 1 job. Don’t be a fool. Go for it,” coaxed my Dad. “You aren’t gonna be a writer, boy. You’re gonna join the Army line,” was the song all my relatives were singing. Like a coward I caved in: and there I was, totting a gun instead of wielding a pen.

Yes, I was a proud soldier donning the greens. Yes, I went on to become a decorated officer of the Indian Army. And yet, I was a coward. I did not have the courage and the fortitude to follow my dreams. The truly brave are those that do not compromise with life. I had cheated my love—my HEART.

The guilt of having cheated my love lay heavily on me until one day my son came rushing with his laptop. “Your chance to become a writer Dad,” he quipped. “At this stage and age!” I exclaimed. “It’s never too late to pursue your dreams,” he winked. “But how?” I asked. He looked into his laptop and said “The Chi…Chi...Chillibreeze!”

And here I am with my assignment of writing a sample article for the breeze of breezes --- Chillibreeze. I am confident that one day I will make a writer of this stupid, cowardly ME, who did not have the wisdom and the courage to pursue his heart’s calling.

Editor's note: Most articles submitted to Chillibreeze go through a selection process. Only 30 percent of submitted articles are accepted for publication on the Chillibreeze.com featured article list. All accepted articles are edited and proofread for glaring errors of punctuation and grammar. Sentence structure is changed in certain cases and sometimes, entire sections are rewritten. If you notice any errors that have slipped through the cracks, do let us know! (Email us at info at chillibreeze dot com).

Chillibreeze's disclaimer: This is a contributed article and was published on Chillibreeze in September, 2010. The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not reflect the views of Chillibreeze as a company. Chillibreeze has a strict anti-plagiarism policy. Please contact us to report any copyright issues related to this article. The relevance of the facts and figures cited (if any) could change after a period of time.

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Laxmansinh writes for chillibreeze.

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