All of us have at some point toyed with the idea of abandoning everything for the sake of our core passion. And many exemplary men and women have already illumined the way by giving up lucrative businesses and rewarding careers for penniless passions. Or so it seems at first glance. While I deeply admire people who can steadfastly remain true to their life work and pursue it with a single-minded devotion, many of us may not be in a position to do that. Some of us have the burden of being the family’s only bread-winner resting squarely on our shoulders. Some are single parents like I am, and it is unfair to impose the consequences of a possible bad decision on a child who has already been through her parents’ divorce. So how are we supposed to juggle our commitments and passions with poise and confidence?
Here are a few pointers that I hope will help those wrestling with the same questions and coping with similar struggles.
#1: Find your passion: This is not easy, as you might think. Not all of us know what we really really really want. I didn’t. All I knew was I loved writing. But did I want to build brands for the rest of my life? No. Did I hate my job? No. But that’s the thing. I had scratched the surface and my job didn’t make me go crazy, because I loved writing and that’s what I did. But it left a void that no pay-cheque or designation could fill and I knew for a fact, that this wasn’t it. So I explored various genres of writing including song-writing which I loved, but when I dabbled in composition, I realized I just wasn’t equipped to do it. I neither had the love, nor the talent. And then after several days of indescribable anguish and soul-searching, I knew I wanted to be a writer. In the truest sense of the vocation. I wanted to write for personal joy. I wanted to write to make a difference. I wanted to share my life lessons, trivial as they might be with someone else fighting the same battles.
And before I knew it, I was happy again.
#2: Tap into your uniqueness: In advertising we call it a unique selling proposition (USP). A term used to refer to one unique feature or offering of a product that it can be pinned down to or positioned in. Vile as it might sound, what is your USP? What is it about you that would make employers want to pay almost double the industry standards for half the time? And I kid you not. They do. I know at least three who do. I’ve worked for all of them. And I’m pretty sure it wasn’t just my writing skills. Although one’s gifting definitely has a major part to play. I cannot even narrow it down to confidence or arrogance. In fact, I’m not at all arrogant about my work. I’ve nursed deep insecurities through and through but I never let employers see me as unsure of myself. I just let them see me. I tell them exactly what I can offer, what I expect in return and I let them know that I will not settle for less. Not just because I’m in deep financial need, but because I believe I’m worth it. And here’s the real secret: I NEVER put on a ‘professional’ front in an interview. I’m the same person in an interview with Ogilvy & Mather’s creative director as I am in my neighborhood coffee shop with friends. And naïve as people might call it, it’s worked every single time. And it’s no gimmick. It’s the truth. You’re just being you and there’s something about that transparency that makes employers trust you instinctively. Remember, employers are people too. So take a deep breath, tell yourself you can do without this job if you need to, and just be.
#3: Land yourself a plum job: If step #2 is religiously followed, this is a given. So whether it’s a full-time job or part-time/freelance deal, make your objectives clear and go out and get that pay cheque, ‘cause it’s looking for you. This isn’t some pep talk I invented to boost the morale of demoralized individuals. It’s a theory I’ve seen work in my own life and in the lives of certain friends who have just like me, unconsciously employed the same principles.
#4: Make time for your first love: Whether you’re a marketing executive with a passion for music, an architect who enjoys writing poetry or a home-maker who finds beauty in Mathematics, you HAVE to make time to nurture your first love. I have a friend who is an accomplished software engineer and is about to quit his well-paying career for travel and photography, two passions that have constantly vied for his attention and won! I have to say it in here, that I have never been more proud of him. He’s chosen to follow the trail of one of those radical individuals who just couldn’t be bogged down by status quo. I recently realized my own first love – creative writing and non-fiction and I have ever since, diligently made time for my work in between deadlines and toddler tantrums. I have reason to be proud of myself too. I’ve come a long way, and it truly is satisfying. Nothing brings me the fulfillment that writing does. It’s when I’m most in touch with myself and God.
#5: Address your blocks: I recently stumbled on this article on ‘Morning Pages’ which is an excerpt from Julia Cameron’s book – ‘The Artist’s way.’ I still haven’t had a chance to read the book, but the 16 page PDF I read and followed religiously, unclogged my creative pipe in just three days. Go to the book’s website and download the basic tools under the ‘Tools’ section. Follow it no matter what your profession or calling. It works.
#6: Sit back and watch what happens: I’m yet to arrive at my destiny in all its intended glory, but I catch glimpses of it now and then when I brush up against my own untapped potential. It’s the most ecstatic part of the creative process. I still don’t know exactly what it is that I’m going to do, but I’ve come to understand that this is the way that destiny unfolds when you choose to desire it. It leads you more by hunches than it does by command. Follow it zealously. It’s the voice of God within you leading you by your desires and wooing you into your future.
I’d like to add that it IS possible to make two things happen at once. Working for a living and living for a life work. And after you’ve exhausted every one of the excuses in your kitty for not enjoying that kind of life, you’ll get sick and tired of being sick and tired. You’ll decide to want your dream enough to make it happen. I only hope my rambling isn’t proved pointless, and succeeds in getting you to take the shorter route and skip the misery.
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Judy says, "I’m a twenty something single mom and writing has been my life-long love, fascination and obsession. I recently quit my career in advertising after 5 years, and though I’ve dabbled in most genres including business writing, articles, food reviews and even lyrics and poetry, I look forward to sinking my teeth in new ones, especially travel writing."
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